


Cry for me

by ioeides_solstice



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Break Up, Broken, Broken Promises, Choi Beomgyu-Centric, Christmas, Christmas Lights, Coffee, Crying, Fate Worse Than Death, HE, Hurt Choi Beomgyu, M/M, ME - Freeform, Psycho, Sad, beomgyu - Freeform, cry, for, is - Freeform, said - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ioeides_solstice/pseuds/ioeides_solstice
Summary: beomgyu's thoughts and state as he goes through his break up with taehyun
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Cry for me

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is slightly based from twice's song 'cry for me' 
> 
> enjoy :->>

I remember that one ill-fated day. When I marched my feet along the cold streets of Seoul, holding a cup of coffee in my hand as my body trembled lightly as the cold winds of winter brushed against me. I found myself in a daze, immersed by the sight of Christmas lights hanging around the city, blinking in glamorous colors of red and green, it blended well with the view of the stars blinking across the dark sky, it just simply took my breath away. 

As I was mindlessly walking, observing each detail of the Christmas decors hung around the city, I suddenly felt a slight bump. Wait, correction, it was a huge bump, as I began to feel a hot liquid running down my hand, took me a moment to realize that it was my hot Americano travelling down my hands like a waterfall. And when I tell you it burnt, it burnt. Like really bad. 

And as I was busy dealing with the burning pain that was beginning to arise, I felt a pair of hands cover mine, pulling me closer to him. He didn’t dare to speak a word and took out tissues from the small belt bag that was wrapped around his unnoticeably tiny waist. His eyes were fixated on my hands as he wiped off the brown liquid with the tissues. As soon as he finished, he was quick to find a trashcan and throw the tissues that he wasted. I was obviously dumfounded at that moment, shocked to witness an absolute stranger wipe off the spilt coffee in my hand in a reverent matter, sort of. 

“I apologize, my mind was wandering around that I didn’t notice you walking.” He scratched his nape in embarrassment as a smile crept in his lips. He was undoubtedly beautiful at that moment. The way he smiled, the way the wind swept through his brown locks, ones that matched his doe eyes. How the moonlight complimented his beauty as it caressed him beautifully. 

I smiled along with him and said “It’s okay, my mind was wandering too.”

We laughed it off, and my eyes couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes transformed into little crescents as he laughed. The sight alone made my smile grow wider as I tried to laugh the fluttering sensation that was forming in my stomach, unconsciously developing feelings towards a stranger I just met. 

“So uhm, what’s your name?” He asked out of the blue, it deeply surprised me that someone actually wanted to know my name. “I’m Kang Taehyun.”

“Choi Beomgyu.” I answered simply, as I couldn’t think of a much more interesting way of introducing myself, as socializing with other people isn’t exactly my forte. But I made an exception for him, and honestly, I wish I didn’t. 

I wish I never agreed when he asked me to go to that coffee shop together. Never should have agreed when he asked me to go and see the Christmas lights the next day. Never should have answered him when he texted me ‘hi’ three days after that incident. Never should have begged to spend another day with him when I missed him. Never should have fallen in love and harnessed feelings for him. Never should have accepted when he asked me to be his. 

If I did so, then I probably wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

In the first parts of our relationship, yes he did indeed love me. Every day, I would find him sitting in my couch as he placed a cute pout in his lips, he would spread his arms wide open, waiting for me to hug him as I stood in the front door. When I’d wake up, I would feel his soft lips against mine as he would whisper ‘good morning’ in between our connected lips. How he’d hold my hand when he’d notice me quivering because of the cold weather. Our little cuddles, sleepless nights, all those special moments that I kept inside my heart. 

And now that heart—my heart, is now broken. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to get through cold nights when he isn’t there to provide me the warmth I need? How am I supposed to focus on studying trigonometry when he’s the only one I keep thinking about? How am I supposed to go anywhere without remembering him, remembering us and the moments we had? How am I supposed to go on when I don’t have anyone in my side again? 

How can I live again without him? 

How dare he stay by my side, make me feel loved, like I was the only person he’ll ever love. Like I was the most special person to him, the only person meant for him. I hate him for turning me into a mess. I hate him so darn much for entering my life in the most unexpected way and then leave as if I never existed in his. As if my existence didn’t hold a single meaning to him, like I meant nothing.

But no matter how much I try to hate him, I couldn’t. I just didn’t have the heart to say goodbye, so I smiled. Hoping that the smile that he once loved would possibly change his mind, even just a little bit of hesitation would be enough. But it’s useless trying to change him, he’ll never have the heart to love me again. Pathetic, am I right? 

That man hurt me so badly. And the one thing that hurt me the most was how I noticed him slowly falling out of love with me. His eyes changed, his smile changed, everything changed so fast that it hurts so bad. It hurts to bad whenever I try to recall it, as those images endlessly project themselves in my mind. 

I wanted him to cry for me, like how I cried for him. Make him cry a river. Is that too much to ask?

I want him to feel the pain, the remorse, the guilt, all these complicated emotions that are taking over me. I want him to love me again. If that can’t happen, then I’d rather forget. I want to forget meeting him and him meeting me, as if we don’t know anything. Maybe then we’d meet again, maybe he’d show me his true love again, a second chance that’s highly unlikely to happen. 

What an insanely sad guy I’ve become. Why do I keep coming back to him? Why do I keep defending him when he’s the one who did wrong? Why do I keep making a fool out of myself? Why does love keep giving way to my mind and force me to make excuses to forgive him? 

Why? Simple, because love is toxic. It melts the hatred away. The feelings just keep coming back because your heart welcomes it. It’s all just a sick cycle of gaining feelings and getting those feelings broken. Love is so unnecessary, but we all find ourselves wanting it anyway. 

And now as I process all these thought inside my head, I found myself in a familiar porch, standing in front of a wooden door, in front of someone’s house. There, I rang the doorbell without any hesitation. I didn’t bother bracing myself because I already know what’s bound to happen once he opens the door. 

“Who’s there—“ Taehyun cut himself off at the split second he saw my face as he opened the door “Why…are you here?”

“Why am I here?” I let out a chuckle that he could audibly hear, which caused his eyebrows to rise in confusion “To put it in simple words, I want something from you.”

“Is this about—“I could hear the irritation from his tone, as this obviously my first time that I begged to him like this. But I guarantee that this will be the last time I will ever commit an action like this. 

“I assure, it’s nothing like what I’ve begged to you before. Those were cliché stuff, I am so like totally over that right now.” I laughed as I tried my best to shrug off his weird assumptions about me. 

“What is it that you want then?” Taehyun questioned almost innocently, which was cute. 

“What is it that I want? Then let me tell you.” I began taking steps forward, approaching him a steady pace as he—Taehyun, took small steps backwards as I locked eyes with him. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes the longer I stared at him with a predatory gaze. Once I closed the door behind my back, I slowly made myself comfortable, pulling out the small swiss army knife I hid inside my pockets. 

“I want you to die for me.”


End file.
